For Sale, Baby Shoes, Worn by a Grown Adult Man

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Well, okay, to be more specific, never worn by a baby. I wore them – once – so they’re not in the best shape. But, I mean, like, a baby could probably still wear them. It’s not like they would know that there was anything wrong with them. Babies are generally pretty stupid.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking, but no, it’s not some weird fetish thing. It’s a thriving community of like-minded men. We have a message board, and we do monthly meet ups, y’know, we go to the movies, go for beers. And yes – we attempt to wear baby shoes.

There’s nothing wrong with grown men trying to wear baby shoes. Stop looking at me like that. And anyway, who are you to judge? You’re the one trying to buy baby shoes from a stranger. Me? I have a guy.

You know what? I shouldn’t even have to explain myself to you. Why don’t you try walking a mile in my tiny baby shoes before judging me? It’s really hard. The shoes are super small and they don’t fit. I mean, that’s kinda part of the whole thing, but still. I realize now that it does sort of sound like a fetish, but—

What’s that?

Oh – oh god, I’m sorry. You’re here for the TV stand? Oh geez. Uh, forty bucks. Oh, and, um, one of the drawers gets stuck. Yeah, you just have to kind of, like, push and pull at the same time.

Yeah, it’s pretty counterintuitive.